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F12-Flyer
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Postby F12-Flyer » Wed Sep 11, 2002 12:49 pm

Dam nice one. have you been following ME? :smile:

I want one of those swinging bars so I can practice my moves or practice the moves you cant do :smile:

I laugh because its SO F**KEN TRUE. :/

ROd

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MissionMan
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Postby MissionMan » Wed Sep 11, 2002 1:23 pm

Maybe this is a marketing concept one of the manufacturers should look into like a trampoline that the guys use.

*****NEW RELEASE - PRACTICE BAR*****

Features:

1. Easy clamps to hook onto any garage or tree.
2. Slightly springy ropes to give the realistic springy/floaty feeling in the air
3. Incorporate timer with various hangtimes including 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ,8 and an awesome "you lie you ##^$^ing bastard, you can't get a hangtime like that" 9 seconds and a start and finish buzzer so you know whether you have complete your trick in time.
4. Quick release in case you want to practice getting out before you get lofted. (or your garage takes off in a tornado)
5. realistic power in/out facilities.
6. Lifelike jump facilities using timer. If you don't turn your kite downwind it automatically releases you from the harness to imitate a fall when you overswing the kite and it falls out of the sky.
7. Lifelike sea/dam floormat option so when you look down, it feels like you are really in Maui (Sea) or Inland (dam). Maui comes complete with sharklike shadow in the water, and dam comes with a top view of a yacht so you feel you need to clear it.
8. Portable fan to emulate wind, and free bucket for pouring water over yourself to emulate wet conditions.
9. New Practice bar comes with or without a safety leash. In the confines of your home, you can unhook and not have to worry about your kite disappearing if you miss the handle pass.

Optional Extras:

a) At only $5 more, we'll give you a realistic CD incorporating sounds of the ocean and waves breaking, and cheers from the crowd when you execute a new move. This is linked into the intelligent timer, so if moves are missed it uses phrases like "awwwwwww, unlucky man" and "ohhhhh, thats gotta hurt"
b) Dark sunglasses - to avoid those embarrassing moments when neighbours see you hanging and laugh at you, these glasses will allow you to feel like noone is watching you.
c) Optional "Keeping watching, maybe I'll do a trick some time" rash vest similar to Fadi, for when you actually learn to land a trick.
d) Velcro badges for the bar including X10, X2, Black Tip etc are available so you can feel like you are riding the latest kite. If a new kite is released, we'll get the badges to you before the kite is even released and you can feel like you're really riding the latest kite at a fraction of the cost.

For dealer enquiries please email fakeboard@idjit.com

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: MissionMan on 2002-09-11 14:26 ]</font>

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Mr Jo Macdonald
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Postby Mr Jo Macdonald » Wed Sep 11, 2002 1:39 pm

Sell the car, buy a new kite.
The kite is 1000 times more fun, runs on less fuel, costs a lot less in general and is much much safer, and there are no limits either.
Hang time.
Jo

Marley
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Postby Marley » Wed Oct 09, 2002 6:08 pm

I was having issues with this overwhelming passion but reality is? words will never express. Me likey kite.

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murdoc
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Postby murdoc » Wed Oct 09, 2002 6:25 pm

you know you're hooked up, when:

-you're at friend's for dinner and the main theme of the evening is kitesurfing, even though only two of ten persons at the table actually kitesurf

-the hot blonde in the club leaves you annoyed 2 hours after she asked if you are in any sports

-when you're filling out a form, you don't know if you should write 'the van down in the parking lot' or your favorite spot into the 'adress' field

-you suddenly remember that you had friends/family before you had your first contact with a kite

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chirojoseph
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Postby chirojoseph » Wed Oct 09, 2002 6:47 pm

*you could be in a bomb shelter with no windows for 6 days and youd STILL know how the wind was blowing
*all the patients in your clinic greet you with "were you out in that wind yesterday? did you go out during the hurricane? Are you still practicing that "kite thing"? How high are you jumping now?
*that rash guard with all the answers to stupid bystander questions about kitesurfing that Dwight suggested is almost a reality (but its going to be in spanish first, ill let you all know when we have some in english)
*you KNOW that the kite and board that you have are just fine and that all you need is to live in a place with more wind but you STILL keep up to date on all the new stuff and are ready to sell your "old" stuff at the drop of a hat if the price is right
*girlfriend complains and says "i wish I was a kite so you would pay more attention to me"....didnt i hear that 10 years ago from a different woman wishing she was a guitar?
*you resort to putting the mexican equivalent of "desitin" (that white cream for babies diaper rash) on your lips to cover the blisters so you can go out just a few more hours cause the HTropic 75 rated stuff just isnt cutting it
*favorite nightime activity is viewing new and interesting spinning leash safety systems on the web and trying to copy them with odds and ends you have around the house

fuck, i wish it would blow. My back only starts to hurt when im NOT kiting cause i spend too much time sitting at the damn computer!
whos got a used wavetray to sell me?? (see what I mean? I dont NEED a wavetray! AHHHHH)

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murdoc
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Postby murdoc » Wed Oct 09, 2002 7:09 pm

--when you stumble around the corner - and fall
in luv - perfect curves, looking sooo good; 'n
you realize that you got the feelings you had
for the girl down the street when you were 16
.. for a custom shape kiteboard.

--when you read all this, nodded several

times,AND DON'T EVEN FEEL STRANGE ABOUT IT!

Badwind
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Postby Badwind » Thu Oct 10, 2002 2:47 am

Ya know...you guys sound just like my old paragliding buds...and it's the same feeling.
I haven't even actually kitesurfed yet, but I know I'm gonna fall for it the way I did paragliding 10 years ago. It'll be interesting a year from now, to see which one wins out on iffy days

HighRise
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Postby HighRise » Thu Oct 10, 2002 4:24 am

When everyday you load up on carbs and water so just incase its windy till dark you don't have to come in for food or water.

Camel pack!!!! I got one and I can kite for twice as long.

When you refuse to clean out your kite gear from your car, cause as soon as you do. It will blow.

KITESURFING KICKS ASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

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BigSmelly
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Postby BigSmelly » Thu Oct 10, 2002 7:50 am

You people are sick. I am too... and it makes me grin, stupidly :grin:...WAIT! What was that? Did the trees across the parking lot move? No time to type, got to go, see y...


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