V-man, please don't construe all of these people trying to help you as being negative, they are just VERY concerned for your safety because you are so obviously violating accepted kite safety practices. Continue on this path and you will end up hurt or much worse!
I learned to kite by myself 5 years ago after a brief rigging lesson from a friend, not because I wanted to but because I was in a situaton where that was my only option. I wouldn't wish that approach on anyone. I feel lucky to be alive today. SERIOUSLY!!!
In this day and age, there is no reason to even consider this approach.
Take lessons, find other people who kite, ask questions, sell your kite and get something smaller to learn on, JUST DON'T CONTINUE ON THIS PATH!!!!!
Don't become another statistic, we've had too many already.