Just had twins in Nov 11 so they just coming up to one We also have a 13 yr old daughter and she is a great help with them, many hands make light work. Interesting to read Marks comments below as I’ve just got back from a kite trip and by the end of it was missing the kids (and the missus
I’d say be on top off all the jobs that need doing as much as you can, you’ll never have everything done anyway, it’s endless. We got a cleaner for 2hrs a week just to take some of the pressure off, you might want to consider that. Also at some point your missus will crack and give you a load, be prepared for that (before and after they arrive, man she’ll get big so you got to be on your toes around the house.) When I think about it now most of it is a blur. Prior to the birth The midwife told us not to have a fixed plan and that we had to adapt to what was happening right then & the plan could change each day and in the end was changing by the hour. It’s important to let the family know this and they need to understand you’re not being short with them but family arrangements need to come second to the missus and the twins. We had an idea of the birth we wanted and the actual birth was 180 degrees in the opposite direction, you need to be prepared for that and not see it as a disappointment just moving in a new direction as the best thing for all.
Also get everything prepared for when they come home, get the creche nice and be the bad ass of getting all the daily things sorted, nappies, wipes, etc, etc.
After I found it’s important that she see other adults in the day so she can have some normal conversation, offload and meet other women in the same situation. Rather than you be the first adult she’s seen in the day having been dealing with babies 24-7. You’ll know it when it happens
) If you can use whatever support is around you.
Once their into a routine it’s easier but they’ll still wake up at different times so the nights can be a lot to handle, the lack of sleep doesn’t help either.
If there is a word for twins it’s routine, they have to eat and sleep at the time, just for your own sanity. Ours go to bed at 7pm and we make sure they play their little asses off prior to that.
There is no doubt it will put a stress on your relationship we said to each other that we knew this stress was coming and if we argued we’d try and just see it as the stress and it’d get easier, which it does. We also, once they were a bit bigger got the grandparents to look after them for the weekends so we had some time together. Grandparents love that kind of thing.
Kiting wise we did a trial run earlier in the year in our 1.2 VW Polo. Me, missus, Sophia (13) & Twins, Kite and Beach Gear. The Car Park was full of VW T5’s which I’ve been thinking of getting for a while now, all I can say it was intense, the car cramped and weighed down to the rims. I came in from the water with Sophia stood outside the little tent we have for the wind, sand blowing everywhere. She said to me “I wouldn’t go in there” I went back to the shop and bought the biggest wind break they had, that 45 mins earlier I’d refused to buy because of the price. After that we decided to buy the VW T5 and I’ve been converting it over last summer.
For holidays this year we stayed in the UK and booked accommodation right by, walking distance the beach. We paid a bit more for the flexibility of being right there, having the option to walk back for things etc & didn’t want the hassle of packing a car every day. It was definitely worth it.
So the van has already been put to good use and will allow us to go away for days as a family, they have somewhere to go if the weather gets too much. I’m planning on putting some more extras in the van this winter, leisure battery, solar panels, laptop hook up etc and a pop top roof. As for solo away days I try to make sure that I’m up to speed with jobs etc and cut the session time on the water to get back handy.
This last year I’ve dropped the marginal days off and just gone when the winds been in. Sessions now through the winter I’ll probably give a miss and spend more time with the family. There’s not so much I’ll miss from freezing my ass off through the winter.
Other than that I have a week or so for a kite trip. It would be different if I was off to Ibiza clubbing all week but she is cool with a kite trip. I think I’m actually a nicer person after a kite session, the adrenalin after burn fuzzzes out all the edges of the day. I understand I now have more responsibilities but I don’t understand the mentality of stopping doing what makes me tick, if I did that I’d just become angry and bitter. If say I was in the pub all the time or out clubbing all weekend yeah I get that would be pushing it.
I do actually believe you can have such a crap day then go kiting, come off the water with some of the answers you were looking for. I was talking to an old windsurf dude the other summer and he was like the after burn is as close to stoned you can get without smoking it. There are days when you come off the water buzzing. I’ve just had a trip which reconfirmed everything I knew about kiting, the simple joy and kiting from one wave to the next, mile after mile, after mile. Watching people come off the water with massive smiles on their faces and as someone said, “all those waves are for free.” Those are the things I’d like my kids to experience for themselves, instead of hanging round street corners getting wasted.
The missus loves the outdoors, the wildness so that’s why we’ve plunged to make kiting inclusive for her and the kids. We’ll see how we get on in 2013 with the van but I’m positive it’ll be good.