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How do you want to be treated?

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Laughingman
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby Laughingman » Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:50 pm

RichardM wrote:
Laughingman wrote:
ronnie wrote:It works best if people attack the argument and not the person.


That is one of the smartest things ever said on the kiteforum. I am sometimes guilty of not following this rule but for the most part provided I am not being attacked personally I do try to debate the debate and not the person. But if I am attacked on a personal level, well, all bets are off, but even then it is wise not to react to severely as you end up lowering yourself to a level you may not be comfortable with. Retracting or apologizing for something you have said is a lot harder then what some others do by simply deleting their posts. Those people are cowards... Even if they do love dogs...


And because you refrained from actually naming this well known poster, your comment is not a personal attack ?

Richard M.
Malibu Kitesurfing - since 2002
(310) - 430 - KITE (5483)
http://www.MalibuKitesurfing.NET
kfRichard@MalibuKitesurfing.NET



That was just a fun way of saying... Hey you, yah you... Stop it cause it doesn't make you look credible... In a nice way. :)

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tautologies
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby tautologies » Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:09 am

Laughingman wrote:
That was just a fun way of saying... Hey you, yah you... Stop it cause it doesn't make you look credible... In a nice way. :)


There is a fine line. I think what we need to try to do (all of us) is not escalate things. Even if we think that someone stepped over the line.

It is hard because of all the different cultures that meet here. One thing that might a dig in one culture could be real offensive in another. Same goes for jokes etc.

I guess it is about trying to not go nuts when we feel someone is stepping over the line...this is not a comment to the above though.

The reason for posting this thread is mainly how bad some of the personal attacks were..they were not directed at me. I have pretty thick skin online and I know I am opinionated. Writing someone a long PM on how they suck as a person is a horrible way to interact with people, and my personal opinion on it is that is shows way more about sender than the receiver...

Now when that is said, we can probably all be better at formulating statements that are on topic.
:thumb:

L0KI
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby L0KI » Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:11 am

RichardM wrote:
Laughingman wrote: I am sometimes guilty of not following this rule but for the most part provided I am not being attacked personally I do try to debate the debate and not the person.
But if I'm attacked on a personal level, all bets are off, even then it is wise not to react too severely as you end up lowering yourself to a level you may not be comfortable with.
Retracting or apologizing for something you have said is a lot harder then what some others do by simply deleting their posts. Those people are cowards... Even if they do love dogs...


And because you refrained from actually naming this well known poster, your comment is not a personal attack ?

Richard M.
Malibu Kitesurfing -

I'm the dog lover that Laughingman Pete is personally attacking behind my back here (somebody let me know).
Last week I deleted every post I made in the BS Claim thread, and for good reason.
I'm trying to help make a bad situation, and a lot of hurt feelings, slightly better.
Don't want to be part of creating any more bad feelings, so I've basically disappeared from several confrontational threads I've posted in.
I spoke extensively via PM in the last few weeks with SupaEZ, and I've made peace with him as best as I know how.
I don't expect that will change anything there though.
Pete is forever mad at me for not allowing his long standing negative campaign to go unanswered, and I am sorry I did not just leave him to say what he will.
Pete is entitled to his opinion about me (I think "Holier-than-Thou" was his last) but...
Whether or not I am a coward is best left for anybody who knows me (in real life) to say.
In real life, our Austin Pitbull rescue organization gives the aggression cases to me.
I think that shows I can be patient, compassionate and gentle in the face of unreasonable aggression,
but I admit I do better with dogs than I do with some people.
If a man does choose to call another man a coward...
It's best done face to face where it can be resolved very quickly and very conclusively.
Last edited by L0KI on Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:42 am, edited 6 times in total.

frankm1960
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby frankm1960 » Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:36 am

My high school teacher always said... "boys, don't do anything you can't back out of gracefully"...
When I respond to a post.. I pretend I'm talking to their face... easier for me to keep it real.

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Laughingman
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby Laughingman » Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:53 am

Im just going to wait till tomorrow to see if any of the above posts are deleted before responding further... :rollgrin:

Krazedkiter
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby Krazedkiter » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:01 am

Just a few things I try and keep in mind for all emails and posts. Emotions are very difficult to interprit in a written response.

To you, bold may mean emphasis so the readers dont skim by it. To a reader, it may feel like your pounding your index finger in their chest.

CAPITAL LETTERS MAY SOUND LIKE YOU ARE YELLING AT SOMEONE.

Lenghty posts will lose readers attention and points may be missed or misinterpreted.

Sarcasm may be extremely misunderstood.

Dry humor sucks in writing.

Anyway, you see where Im going. We should all get headsets like we are playing Black Ops II on Xbox and talk out our posts.

giowind
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby giowind » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:18 am

All I can say is that if the wind on Oahu does not pick up soon Taut may go crazy and load up this forum with a bunch of esoteric topics, using this forum as therapy... I feel your pain man... I am going crazy as well. wind, where are you?

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tautologies
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby tautologies » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:32 am

giowind wrote:All I can say is that if the wind on Oahu does not pick up soon Taut may go crazy and load up this forum with a bunch of esoteric topics, using this forum as therapy... I feel your pain man... I am going crazy as well. wind, where are you?


LOL I Know huh....
Last edited by tautologies on Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

Westozzy
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby Westozzy » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:57 am

Tuat good post man. I've been on the receiving end both here and on my Aussie forum. However sometimes but not lately I've given in the rage and fired back and to be quite honest not too proud of myself because of it. One post on the Aussie forum got so bad the administrators cancelled the guys username (it was one of those usernames generated just to attack me). It got really personal to, the guy using my first name?

As someone has said attack the argument not the person. It seems whenever I have tried to steer it that way though the personal attacks get greater. But that is the approach I am taking and I am trying my best now to stay calm and not get personal. I have a way with words and sometimes in the past I have been a bully without being personal. I'm trying to stop that to.

But it is so hard when someone gets personal...sometimes I just can't believe what people say about me or others. But then again it is up to the bigger man to not give into the rage. I'm trying to be that man, but sometimes it is so hard! Especially when you entire motivation is to help others, seems like a slap in the face sometimes.

DirkGently
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Re: How do you want to be treated?

Postby DirkGently » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:20 am

Westozzy wrote:Tuat good post man.



hold it right there buddy


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