LOL Loco, great pun!
Now see, boardshorts harnesses are ok. Its the ones that look like a diaper that's already been... filled, that look bad.
Now as to kiteboarding being the only sport where a rider is suspended without something to sit on... Kiteboarders don't spend the entire session suspended. They do short bursts of 5 or so seconds, and hopefully longer, while pulling down on the bar, and then spend 30 seconds getting back the ground they lost on the jump. Hell, half the wakestyle guys and the wave-carvers barely get suspended at all, given that the wakestylers are going unhooked most of the time. None of the other "suspended" sports spend time off the harness, save for rock climbers. But rock climbers and skydivers and base jumpers need the seat harness for sudden impacts, and sometimes for belaying or rappelling for the climbers. None of the sudden downward impacts are there in kiteboarding, and though you may want to, you can't spend several minutes airborne with your whole weight being supported by the harness. Your argument is therefore invalid. Thank you, come again!