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Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

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Onda
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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby Onda » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:52 am

Very good advice by the TO :thumb:

Russians seem to have their very own estimation of the worth of human lifes, or life in general. It seems to be more important to wrestle down a bear in your speedos...

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby Peert » Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:14 am

I know some very nice, gentlemen like Russians.
Let's not generalize too much... Toby doesn't like that. ;-)

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby pj sofine » Mon Jul 16, 2018 1:16 pm

Peert wrote:
Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:14 am
I know some very nice, gentlemen like Russians.
Let's not generalize too much... Toby doesn't like that. ;-)
The French Canadians are happy the focus has shifted from them ! :byebye:

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby Chainz » Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:16 pm

Keep the sequence right!
Learn to kitesurf before you meet your future wife - otherwise the divorce could be a result :lol:

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby SENDIT! » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:09 pm

fernmanus wrote:
Sat Jul 14, 2018 10:10 pm
I have been kiting for 18 years and I have learned a few things along the way that may help younger kiters in a serious relationship or married.

1. You don't need to teach your wife to kite. In fact, it may be better if she never learns. Let her do her thing and you do yours. Kiting takes serious patience, especially when you are learning. Hey, if she really wants to learn, don't hold her back, but if she is indifferent, encourage her to do other things while you kite. If she does want to kite, don't be her kite slave, let her set up her lines, carry her gear, etc. If you do all of the work for her, you are not going to not look forward to your sessions as much down the road.

2. Don't give a set time when you will return from a session. When she asks you what time you will be back, a good answer is "I will give you a call when I am on my way". The problem is that the wind, gear, or traffic can cause unforeseen delays. It is better to always keep your commitments than to make promises you cannot keep.

3. A good relationship is worth more than a good session. You don't have to kite every time the wind blows. In fact, missing some sessions will fuel your passions more than riding at every chance. If your schedule is limited, pick the very best days to go, don't sacrifice family life for mediocre sessions. Kiting is not the end all, be all of life. It is an amazing sport and hobby, but if it becomes the center of your life, you will live a less fulfilled life.

4. Your best kiting years are ahead of you if you take good care of yourself. Dedicate yourself to your career and your family. When you are older, you will have the time and resources to travel and kite much more than when you were younger.

5. It is better to have kids when you are young and full of energy, than to raise kids when you are older. My youngest was born when I was 30. I am now 51 and I don't have any kids at home, that gives me a lot of freedom compared to guys that waited until their 40's to have kids.

Why are you still reading the rantings of an old fart? Get out there and kite! :thumb:
Great advice, Fernmanus! I can't remember ever really seeing this topic pop up before. Lots of nuggets of truth here. If I hadn't tried to teach my wife myself (years before I became a professional instructor) AND if had heeded #3, I might still be on wife #1. Access to a great wind location (lived on Oahu) gave me the ability to kite more often than I probably should have. Why didn't you post this 15 years ago? :lol:

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby TomW » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:28 pm

Pretty good advice.
I've been married 32 years and was windsurfing nut when I met my wife 34 years ago.
So she didn't get a surprise. We have common interests, and only one very late child, now 13 yrs. ( which is a help actually).
Primarily it's my wife that deserves the cred for putting up with me, so it might be that you are balanced and giving way, and it's still not good for your partner. You'll need to adapt.
I've tried to get the boy into kitesurfing, but not pushed, he's not super interested. Taken some lessons. Maybe he'll come around later.

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby John Doe » Tue Jul 17, 2018 4:43 am

Ditto, I started kiting in 2000 & was married in 2001, still married to the same great woman.

#3 is right on the money!!!!

#4 "take care of yourself..." again right on the money. as you get older you pickup more long term effects from kiting. I've had broken bones that still don't sit completely right & hernia surgery as well as a slew of stitches etc. i have to take my non-kiting workouts seriously so i can enjoy my kite sessions fully. i'm 50 years old.

a great write-up/post for sure!

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby ThickAir » Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:15 pm

Great advice. I'm so happy my wife doesn't kite. I've got enough to keep an eye on while out on the water without having to worry about someone else. My wife is strong, confident and independent. She doesn't need to do everything I do and is fine with me kiting whenever I want. Also completely agree with having the kiddos early. Empty nest at late 40s with plenty of disposable income is a beautiful thing.

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby chemosavi » Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:56 pm

ThickAir wrote:
Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:15 pm
Also completely agree with having the kiddos early. Empty nest at late 40s with plenty of disposable income is a beautiful thing.
Couldn't disagree more. For most people.
.
Or at least the fifty percent that wind up divorced because they got married before they had any clue as to who they are.
.
And I'm willing to bet based on the average Joe on this forum you like to pee on a lot of trees before you are happy with one.
.
Play the field, take the memories with you when you settle down to get you through the boredom.
.
Plus you won't be able to do the same things at fifty you could when you were thirty.

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Re: Advice from an older married kiter to a young one

Postby POACHER » Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:48 pm

chemosavi wrote:
Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:56 pm
ThickAir wrote:
Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:15 pm
Also completely agree with having the kiddos early. Empty nest at late 40s with plenty of disposable income is a beautiful thing.
Couldn't disagree more. For most people.
.
Or at least the fifty percent that wind up divorced because they got married before they had any clue as to who they are.
.
And I'm willing to bet based on the average Joe on this forum you like to pee on a lot of trees before you are happy with one.
.
Play the field, take the memories with you when you settle down to get you through the boredom.
.
Plus you won't be able to do the same things at fifty you could when you were thirty.
Word.

I burned the candle at both ends until I was in my late 30's. I don't regret any of it. (except wakeboarding.......it destroyed my knees) The women, school, work or doing my sports at will was great while young. I have two kids now (2 year old and 4 year old) at age 43. I have plenty of energy, time and money to spend on them that I didn't have in my 20s. Waiting until mid 40s or 50s to start charging at anything sports related seems really counter intuitive to me, but to each their own.

I knew I was not ready to be married in my 20's or early 30's. It's an honest conversation that you need to have with yourself. As with any big decision in life, it's best to do your homework and explore all options..... or you could suffer a very serious setback later. (IE: the big D/the hard reset.)
I told my wife I'm only getting married once in this lifetime, so don't let me screw it up!


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