How to get your hands on your own private kiterbabe
Ok letÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s get serious, just how many of you out there donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want their own private kiterbabe? Hands up pleaseÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
I thought so, not many.
If you already have your own kiterbabe, what are you doing reading this, do you want two? Shit, there are few enough to go round already you greedy pig.
Anyway, this is how you can get yer grubby little hands on her, interested? ok, just disregard the bullshit and silly crap I luv and take notes.
First of all, you have to know how you want her,
No, not in what position,
Who is the kiterbabe of your dreams?
If you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know who she is you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have a fat chance of finding her.
The best way to do find out who she is is to write down what sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s like. Take a big piece of paper, (A4 is fine) and at the top of the page write My Kiterbabe. Ok, now imagine your dream kiterbabe and start writing a list of the qualities of this person in a column. Obviously at this point if youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re thinking about one specific person then you are really narrowing your options down, especially if youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been hastling them for ages to go out with you and theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve known you since you had zits and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s been obvious from the first time they set eyes on you that all you really want is to shag em silly.
I suggest describing a ficticious person, who may be based on someone you know or have seen on the box or in a magazine but you may be surprised that when you know them a bit better they ainÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t so hot anyways.
Write down as many qualities as you can think of and feel free to bare your soul and put your wildest dreams in writing.
You should end up with a list that looks something like this:
increadibly hot on the water but not more than me
doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t earn more than me
great with kids
great in the kitchen
not necessarily in that order
doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t look like a frog in the morning
never has a headache
brings me breakfast in bed
tells me IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m the best lay ever, even if she is lying
Even though youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re having loads of fun, now itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s time to put your feet back on the ground for a while and go back through the list because the aim of this whole game is to make your dream come true remember, so if your dream is impossible to realise except in a virtual reality environment you should either get REAL or get a VR helmet and get down to some serious virtual wanking until you get bored, believe me reality is much more fun bvut also not half as easy, but thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s half the fun isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t it?
Right go back through your list and start crossing out the obviously stupid stuff, Venetian with three tits for example, get real man everbody knows Venetians all have five and a half tits and where are you gonna put em all anyway.
You should now decide on the unrealistic stuff and qualities you may not really really want after all and cancel them.
Like enourmous tits for example, which will be loads of fun for a bit but later you might just regret having exagerated in your young carefree days when youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re trying to coax you withered dick to get all excited over a couple of sag bags, he may be a dick head but heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s got a mind of his own after all. So if youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re a real hard core tit man write humungous tits and if youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re the jealous masocistic just write the name of your favourite pornostar at the top of the page.
One word. Having fun is great and most people try their hand at it at some time in life but you can have fun and be serious too if you really care about your ass because here we are talking about YOUR future, YOUR happiness, YOUR love and YOUR life so get it right.
Right now weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re getting down to the nitty gritty and if your list is a mess of crossed out pornography write it down again so now youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re starting to get a good clear idea of who you really WANT which is a very important word because if you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t really want them you will very probably never have them, more of that later.
YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll probably notice that there is one or more common notions to your list, something that several qualities have in common, sex, money, power, good looks, respect, intelligence, I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s your list. If thereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s one common denominator this will make things easier as it will be the most important thing in the person youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re looking for, take sex for example, if your list has 5 qualities that having nothing to do with sex and 25 that have a lot to do with sex you are probably not going to get very far with a nun.
The idea is to narrow down your field of choice. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s true that there are many more fish in the sea and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not just true when oneÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s just got away. With so many fish to choose from unless you do some selective fishing you may risk getting an indigestion from guzling too many muscles, catching a shark or beeboping away for the rest of your days with a manta ray while watching the lobsters cruise by and thinking Ã¢â‚¬Å“God I love lobsterÃ¢â‚¬