Insight from the lighter and bizarre side courtesy of Monkeyair.com. Traig is an instructor from the left coast of the USA.
This is excellent hand signal advice. But I must digress. Here in
California, when the kitesurfer is ready for his kite to be launched
he simply crushes his now empty beer can on his forehead. May of our
female depressed kiters balance an empty bottle of zanex on their
nose and scream "launch me you worthless, sexist pig, you could never
afford me anyway" Oops, sorry, that is what the women yell at me. If
a shop owner who doesn't sell the kite I am flying gives me a launch,
the middle finger signal is given prior to my kite being tied to the
bumper of a speeding bus. In all seriousness, really,really, no, yeah
really; naaa, well yes, I think your signs are great. We already do
the one hand over head and touching head for I'm ok but bring my date
another that will render her unconscious. Both hands waving
frantically indicate that help is needed. One bloody stump held over
head and ramming a channel marker buoy with your forehead while held
out of the water up to your naval means "FECKEN SHARK MATE!!!!!"
We train the lifeguards over here these basic signals and the
inclusion of your thumbs up sign will be an easy addition. Especially,
as the thumbs up sign is already used by most of us current and ex
lifeguards amongst ourselves to represent the number one. It can also
mean "get your thumb out" or more commonly to say "probably saline
filled but can't rule out silicon till she goes for a jog on the
Over here in California the common "Grabbing ones groin" sign was
originally used by Johnny Cockran in court to signal OJ to say his
white bronco's license plate numbers and his computers IP address
were both stolen by radical elves from the dark side of the moon while
his car was parked in front of a quickikitemart down under. The jury
bought the story so the crotch grab hand sign is now used on all rap
music videos and presidential campaigns where clarity of facts could
land your nuts in a blender.
Thanks for your good work in the training and the hand signals. We as
the kitesurf nation appreciate such efforts greatly. Have done many of
these types of trainings myself and as we both know the only thanks
you get for all the effort is when the thirteen gorgeous babe
strippers that you tought how to safely kite in the jacuzzi, spray
anifungal whipcream into your ears and tongue you to sleep. But that
is another story for another schoolroom. For now. Sounds like the
Japanese kite surfing safety foundation is on its way with your help.
In closing. As the Highway patrol admonishes us: Beware of the
freaking klepto web group junki,self promoting moon elves with market
dominance mentalities. Sorry, it just came out, Just something my
grandfather passed down to me on his deathbead while Lizza Minelle
sufficated him with her...Oh never mind.
Thank you very much, good to be here. LAte night with Traig and the
safety police. Tonights special guests were Barney the purple kiter
and his love pump sales interest,Crossdresser Kiterhag and his
bailbondsman band. Night All.
--- In kitesurf@y..., "kiteboardingjapan" <nick@h...> wrote:
> --- In kitesurf@y..., "flkitesurfer" <flkitesurfer@h...> wrote:
> > 6. Always try to HAVE ASSISTED LAUNCHES AND LANDINGS WITH AN
> > EXPERIENCED HELPER who can clearly understand your instructions
> > signals.
> I had a safety seminar at my shop last Sunday. I was given a lot of
> support my Rick - thanks! I was going to mail him privately about
> this above point, but I might as well mention it to the group. Not
> exactly a groundbreaking revelation, but may help to avoid an
> In preparation for the seminar I went through the reports that Rick
> has in the files section here. If you haven't read them, I really
> recommend it. There are a lot of reports, but if you scan through a
> few, there is a wealth of info here (The Dimitri report is good). I
> decided to demonstrate the signals that Rick has laid out. There are
> signals such as land kite, get ready to launch, launch, wait, hold
> kite, etc. While I was preparing the material with a riding buddy,
> made an excellent suggestion. Forget all the signals and only have
> TWO. LAUNCH or LAND. When holding the kite for someone DO NOT DO
> ANYTHING until you see the thumbs up. This totally removes the
> chance or reading a sign wrong and makes it very easy to explain to
> someone who may not know the signs. It doesn't matter how much the
> rider screams at you, "let go of my f***ing kite, I'm ready to
> you idiot", keep holding the kite and don't let go until you see the
> thumbs up. To signal that you land the kite, pat your head. This is
> so simple for all your riding friends to learn. I would guess that
> everyone here has had someone let go of your kite when you weren't
> ready. It's so simple to avoid this potentially dangerous situation.
> BTW, as a side note...
> Always help to launch and land other people's kites. However, when
> holding a kite for a friend's launch consider it your DUTY to check
> that their lines are correctly connected.
REPOSTED FROM THE KITESURF FORUM