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Oz Kiteboarding Mag Sux

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 30, 2003 9:52 am

Ben Wilson has continued on his "in-your-face" aggro moronic anal sex-obsessed crusade in the latest issue of "Australian Kiteboarder."

Why the hell do we let Ben & his team of morons spout their preachy, sub-adolescent, fucked up bs at us? Maybe it’s time a "boycott Slingshot" campaign was started. The advertisers need to know. How can big, clean-cut multinationals (Wipika, Cabrinha, North, Liquid Force, Underground, Kitepower, Naish, & Slingshot) stand to be associated with this shit? It DOES reflect badly on their brand.

Apart from anything else, why choose an editor who is basically illiterate? Every page is littered with basic spelling & grammar errors. While it’s not a school text, it’s still SAD that an editor of a national mag can’t write.

Ben is still on his anal sex crusade. Why the hell do we have to read about it? I buy the mag because I want to read about competition results, gear reviews, locations etc. It’s pathetic that we have to read all the (anal) sex stuff too. Regardless of whether or not "brown wings" are important to Benno, why do we have to read about it?? Eg Benno’s & Boony’s "claim" page:
- "I got my brown wings ages ago…"
- "Tight fit & too deep. If they don’t say too deep your (sic) not doing it right"
- "It was her idea… I was freakin’ out – I’m not gay."
- "You gotta use lube."

Benno tried to justify his bizarre "smashed" editorial. Benno, baby, we’re not idiots. "Smash," in the context you use it, means "fuck." Eg "Kite groupies who smash all the kite boys."

Benno getting off on preaching to us again in the bizarre "smashed" editorial. According to Benno, the following are good:
- …"f**cking with your mates"
- "Strip clubs with $100 lap dances where anything goes"
- "Porn"
- "Jay & Bob: Fictional characters that smashed e-group (eg this forum) bleeders." Don’t worry Benno, we knew you planted them.

According to Benno, the following are bad:
- "Water jackets" (Who gives a shit what you wear? Looks like Benno has just lost Oakley as an advertiser)
- "Cock blocking"
- "Farts that follow through"
- Etc etc

Benno made sure he loaded the mag with the normal quota of fucked up sexist misogyny eg:
- "Confidence is getting home at 4am drunk & reeking of cheap perfume, slapping your girlfriend on the ass & whispering "you’re next bitch."
- We should sue a beer company for "all the ugly chicks you fucked."
- "I the penis, hereby request a raise, because I do physical labour, work in dark, wet, slippery, smelly places with poor ventilation & I work til I vomit."
- Semi-naked centrefolds (Yup, female riders LOVE this section)
Most of it is just lame/pathetic/unfunny

Benno getting preachy again:
- "Bleeders (ie supposedly us – this forum): A bunch of perpetual whiners all bitching about the same thing. Kind of like an e-group (those guys need to get a life)." Benno baby, these forums are the ONLY way for us to try to balance up your preachy, misogynist, unfunny, aggro, moronic fucked up bs with the opinion of the majority of decent, hard-working people who resent your aggro in-your-face attitude & anal-sex stuff.

Benno’s attempts to suck up to a small clique of Victorian kite shop assistants with the weird "Vic state sex scandals" article eg
- Balls is gay (ho ho)
- Bill is a hermaphrodite (ho ho ho)
- Norts is into under-age prostitution (ho ho ho ho fucking ho)
- Ivan & cross dressing (ho ho)
- Hop & doggy style (ho ho ho)
- Andy mac scalding his penis by fucking a donut (ho ho ho)

Bennos interview of Bill Crang (Really, who gives a shit?)
- What’s your favourite porn mag?
- What’s your favourite breast size?
- What’s your favourite piece of chicks clothing?
- What’s your favourite brand of toilet paper?

Despite the sad (anal) sex, misogynist stuff, there are some excellent articles in the mag. Eg the Report on the Nat Titles, Cora’s article on elbow injuries. It’s a shame that you have to wade thru Benno’s (anal) sex-obsessed stuff to get to it. I’ll still be subscribing to the mag to get to the good stuff, but it gets me down to have to read all the other shit.

So bring it on boys… The BLEEDERS who support this anal sex obsessed mag will doubtless be firing up their Bob-the-Knob (Dano) keyboards.

It is SAD that an otherwise good mag is brought down by the preachy, judgmental, "better than you" sexist, sub-adolescent, moronic, anal sex-obsessed misogynist shit spouted by the basically illiterate editor. Let’s not let them get away with it… LET THE ADVERTISERS KNOW!

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 30, 2003 11:42 am

The Slingshot website (http://www.sskiteboarding.com) has a profile on Ben Wilson.

The adolescent moronic attitude he has brought to "Australian Kite Boarder" is evident in the profile.

In the profile he refers indirectly to pissing in Jeff Tobias's drinks (pretty funny, huh?).

He was also asked why he rode Slingshot:

"There (sic) attitude and progression (sic),slingshot is giving kiteboarding it's (sic) direction, a direction that in time everyone else will follow. slingshot is'nt (sic) a contest orientated company, it's all about lifestyle and simplicity, plus it's (sic) product is core. I'm proud to be apart (sic) of it!"

Apart from being basically illiterate (how many basic spelling and grammatical errors can you cram into one paragraph - great credentials for a mag editor?) he also come across as a complete and utter WANKER.

S.H.

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MrBonk
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Postby MrBonk » Wed Apr 30, 2003 12:03 pm

Ferchrissake.....how many times does it have to be said before it sinks into your heads.......if you don't like it, don't fucking buy it :!: It's a magazine, not fucking War and Peace. No-one expects it to be a literary masterpiece.......if you want writing of that caliber, I suggest you try Milton or Coleridge.

FFS.....it's no wonder the Kiteboarder crew think these forums and e-groups are hangouts for bleeders.....it's because they fucking are. Get out more.....seriously.....

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 30, 2003 12:09 pm

Hey Bonk you big BLEEDER...

I read the mag cos I want to know Aus comp results, gear stuff, etc. It gives me the shits too that I have to read all the anal stuff.

J>K

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MrBonk
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Postby MrBonk » Wed Apr 30, 2003 12:19 pm

Anonymous wrote:Hey Bonk you big BLEEDER...

I read the mag cos I want to know Aus comp results, gear stuff, etc. It gives me the shits too that I have to read all the anal stuff.

J>K
No, you don't......that's the whole point....no-one's going to staple your eyes open and *make* you read the mag. You can get that info (and vast amounts more) from the web anyway.

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 30, 2003 12:37 pm

Nice work J>K

That's an impressive body of knowledge that you've shared with us. It seems you've studied the subject matter well. Are you sure that you don't like reading that stuff?

If I didn't like reading about it I wouldn't like thinking about it, or memorising it or transcribing it... or doing whatever you did to create your thesis.

Great! Now kiteforum has got it's 'brown wings' too :thumb:

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Cockney lad
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Postby Cockney lad » Wed Apr 30, 2003 12:56 pm

Hey, any chance we can get this mag in the UK?

Now US KB mags gone all soft centred and PC - thanks to all the postings here no doubt its boring.

Bring that shit on over here :bye:

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 30, 2003 1:01 pm

Actually, that first post reminds me of PumpMeUp's style. Wot's happened to him lately... is he now on a crusade against OzKb?

Do SteveMc and BenW have issue's?
Just a thought... :P

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 30, 2003 11:29 pm

Cockney lad wrote: Now US KB mags gone all soft centred and PC - thanks to all the postings here no doubt its boring.
Kitesurf UK is the BEST kitesurfing mag by a long shot. It's jam-packed with info and it hasn't got an attitude problem.

Kitesurfers vote with their feet. Kitesurf UK has got a huge and loyal readership (the biggest readership of any kitesurfing mag) and the advertisers love it.

Ben Wilson and that other adolescent rag (KB Mag) could take a few tips from Kitesurf UK.

S.H.

Guest

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 30, 2003 11:46 pm

I agree totally..and I am from Oz (thats how bad things are ..when the poms can actually beat us at something)

I would even go as far as to say that we have the worst Mag (Oz KB) in the world ..even eclipsing the yank.. Kiteboarder mag.


ThankgodforKitesurfmag :bye:


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