O.K. so you're Fortesque K Iten (fokiten), you're in this asylum, you've got this hellfish kite they sent you.
Just what the f*** do you do with it now?
You certainly aint going kiting with it.
Heres my starter....
Uses for a used fish part 1.
Wrap used chewing gum in it.
Wrap your medication in it (hide it from matron)
Hold it under chin get a tan.
Make shiny condoms from it, save making local animals pregnant.
Make shiny straight jacket from it, be the coolest freak in the asylum
Write messages on it, put them in bottle, send them out to sea, hope one day your boyfriend Gumball reads them and will come back to give you further anal pleasure.
1. Wrap it around one of these Swiss Balls (you know the ones you sit on) and create a huge disco ball.
2. Running out of tin foil to put under you pizza?
3. Want to stand out in the next Toga party?
4. Send it to HBS (Harvard Business School). I'm sure they'll need one for their case studies on 'how to market a dudd product'
5. Give it to Donald Trump's next season on the Apprentice. They always get screwed marketing some dudd products
6. Create an amazingly cool hammock out of it. It will probably hold a very heavy guy (you know, it's Cuban Fiber) or you and your girlfriend getting some really good humping action
Graeme, since you like wearing womens clothing. Maybe you could make a dress out of it. Just make it full length so we don't have to look at your old wrinkley veiny legs.