the last time i posted this question from here
viewtopic.php?t=2367259&p=674651
I settled on one of two gloves that looked nice, the
Ocean Rodeo coldfire gloves

and the NRS reactor kayaking gloves

previously I was using 3mm o'neils

In the o'neils my hands were going numb in 40 water 50 air, but when I bought the ocean rodeo coldfires i have not had a problem since, going out in 40 water 25 air last week.
I am happy with the warmth of the ocean rodeo but I dont like how they wear, they are too fragile they arent gonna last that much longer for me. Next glove I am gonna try will be those kayaking gloves.
I would not go above 3mm you cant hold the bar, also precurved fingers helps keep your hands warm because you dont have to grip so hard. titanium laminate is incredible it really does work. Those mystic dry gloves dont have titanium as far as I know, which is probably why they dont work when its really cold.
Im normally a medium glove size but for the ocean rodeos I had to get a large, they fit pretty tight.
Im not into the mitts, I really like with the ocean rodeos I can actually do and undo my larks heads without taking off my gloves.