Whats your stupid story?

[Bille]

Trying to learn kite loops on a 16m Crossbow in light wind is probably the stupidest thing I've done. I've had some bad luck but those weren't my own fault...

Why? I learnt to KL on an 18m Vegas in light winds

It was an 18m Peter-Lynn Venom l for me ; needed a Kite-loop or two to start ; then more
to keep the energy going down wind, in a cross shore light breeze ...
Then i'd Run a few hundred yards back up the beach & do it over, and over, & over !!
I had feet then.

Bille

[Timop]

Great "stupid stories" guys:-)!!! and some scary ones.

Well I have done lots of stupid things in general, but percentage wise a lot more in kiting.

Two stories in particular come to mind, these were proper stupid, but I mention these as it endangered other people' s lives.

1. A couple of years ago a fancied myself a good kiter. (compared to the other lawn mowers that were around the area I kited) Naturally, I thought, I would be able to teach a beginner just by winging it..

The day before the lesson I read a couple of basic lesson steps, duct taped a waterproof receiver to a helmet and of we went to a Lake. The wind was 13 knots light, off shore on the one side and the drift was about 500m to the other side. To make a long story short, because I had zero experience in teaching the poor "student" at one point started drifting across the bay, gesturing widely, by the time I got to him was in full panic mode, asthma pump in hand...........

Needless to say I went home said a prayer the guy is still alive and signed up for an instructors course.

If I had to do that lesson again today, a myriad things would be different, not the least of which would be a proper medical questionnaire, Not just a "Hey dude can you swim?"


2. The second was when trying to show off, (Not to be confused with "entertainment", which IMO is a different mind set and pushes the sports limits and is necessary)

I was doing a lesson, which started at about 8 in the morning. The student was fit and competent, and by the time we finished it was around 16H00. During the lesson there was a couple of kiter's entertaining the small crowd and when the lesson finished I was well and truly pumped to show these guys and my student a thing or two.

In my rush to pump up my kite (Bandit 5), I forgot to secure it and it flew across the lagoon, over a road, narrowly missing a family in a Van and got stuck on a bank across a road . I drove around, fetched it, but tore it as I put it in my pick up. No problem, quick tape fix and in no time I was on the water "cooking" - .......showing off.

By this time the tide had dropped and there was a 50m wide sandbank on the other side of the lagoon, before some gnarly looking rocks a car park and a road. During a jump, a gust came through and I managed to land just before the sand bank, but got pulled out on to it, still in control. I stopped about 30 m from the rocks. In order to be cool, I thought to myself to just do a Ruben Lenten drag to the water, HOWEVER, the Bar had turned and in my rush to be cool I pulled the wrong side, the kite went from 2 to 10 and in doing so lofted me. It all happened in slow motion, the flight, the sickening thud and creak as I hit the rocks and then a metallic "doeff" as I hit the Van parked in the car park. Despite, causing damaged to their car and almost hurting them and their children (twice) playing outside on the rocks, the family was very helpful. To top it all my student took me took hospital.

I was out action for 2 months

The lesson - Practice what you preach. - (Be mindful of the obstacles downwind, take ur time when rigging, when crashing get your bearings first before pulling on the bar - remember red is left, and do not have a show off attitude, rather wait for the right opportunity to entertain with attitude and always respect other beach goers)

[Kamikuza]

Ah, that reminds me... kinda stupid story - I should have known better than tying a knot in a safety line but I thought, how much load could it possibly take? The answer is "enough to break the line"...

Psycho4 19 - got hit by a gust as I jumped and got floated towards shore. Splashed down with a meter or so of water left and decided to punch out... and punched RIGHT out. Kite, lines and bar went up, over the trees, across the road, over the YMCA camp ground and huts, over a house and touched down in a paddy field 400m downwind. Not a mark on the kite, barely any mud stains... lucky break.

[vfr]

Love this thread so will come out of my usual silence with two stories-stupid in very different
ways.
First one. Alameda Beach about 10 years ago. Just beginning to get upwind - a 17m CO_2 which I was
pleased to toss in the dump the other day. I went down there with a friend who wanted to windsurf-no shortage
of wind. The trouble was that I was just back from a tough trip to Europe, still jetlagged and weak with a bit of
a cold. With the kite pumped up - which in itself was exhausting with that huge leading edge- every voice in my
head was saying "don't go". But did I listen? Right as I was going out from the beach I lost control of the kite which
went in to a looping spiral and I got dragged. Not sure how it ended but it was well before any drowning threat.
So far a completely mundane story. The bad part is that, as I was dragged face-first through the water something
nasty got in my nose and was forced up into a remote part of my sinuses where it camped, with very little blood able
to fight it, and pumped all kinds of bad stuff into my system. There followed four years (!) of horror. All kinds of
weird symptoms including tingling earlobes and a sore tongue. With fatigue so debilitating I would often have to just
go and lie down in the middle of a conversation. Even now, 10 years later I get the odd flashback of the symptoms.
I have hardly ever been to Alameda beach since and in general I avoid kiting in the SF Bay unless I'm really in need of
a fix-which happens. Sherman Island water is even worse by the way-got a nasty infection in my finger there back
in my windsurfing days.
The lesson here is simple enough-don't go out if you're feeling weak.

Second one. Several years later, just about over the health problems of the first story. At a beautiful remote place
in the South Island of NZ called Fort Rose. (Check it out on google-I plan to go back there for sure.) I was probably
one of the first to kite there. All alone, not a soul around. 14m fluid torque (I loved that kite, pulled like a truck).
There was something of a squall but it was at the other end
of the estuary and moving slowly so I said to myself-I'll just drop the kite when it gets close. Well, it got closer sooner
and it hit me with the kite still in the air. Luckily for me the wallop was so strong it broke my kite leash and away went
the kite. It took off half the front bumper of my car and god knows where it would have ended up had there not been a
picnic table of substantial proportions to stop it-and of course tear it up a bit. Nothing a bit of duct tape couldn't fix.
That poor kite ended up with almost as much duct tape as canopy after a few other adventures which were not necessarily
stupid like this one-NEVER go out near a squall.

It seems like a lot of the stupid stories in this thread have been caused by winds with some offshore component. My hard and fast
rule is to never go out in such winds unless I am covered by a chase boat. Even then I'm relcutant as another story would
explain - but because of the chase boat it wasn't so stupid.

[chemosavi]

Flysurfer Titan 18 water launch from boat.
Back of harness secured to boat.
Kite goes up.
Kiter goes up.
Boat goes up.

Boat comes down.
Upside down,
motor and all.
Kiter lands on bottom of boat.

[Flyfish]

great stories.

Back in the days of horrible C kites I went out in solid double to triple over head waves - solid offshore wind.

Why not? Seemed like a great idea at the time.

rode a few sick clean gients. a couple of buddies were tow in surfing, but must have been a bit board because they were following me on the ski cheering me on.

was coming off a wave and two lines randomly snapped. kite falls. thought to myself... "I should eject the kite".

but my buddies ride up to me, and I start thinking... hey I can save the kite with the ski...
They had no idea how to deal with the kite, so I jump onto the back of the sled.

I had NO idea until that moment....

look down and the loose lines had rapped around one of my ankles like the biggest rat's nest you have ever seen...

We're still in the impact zone and just lucky that nothing has hit yet. I'm thinking "I'm fucked... once a wave hits that kite, I'm off this ski and possibly drownning or losing my foot"

I tell my buddy to "hit it". he does.... I'm almost ripped off the sled by the power of the ski.
I yell to slow down!!!
He motors out... and we somehow pick our way out with waves feathering all around us dragging the kite by my ankle.
I'm holding the sled and the lines so my foot doesn't get ripped off. I seriously was praying.

we get out side, and I thought, that was the closest I've ever come to killing myself.

LESSON: GET RID OF THE KITE.

[SaulOhio]

In the very early days, around 1999-2000, I bought a C-Quad.

[Drew22]

Doing a downwinder with a friend that takes you 2 miles out to sea to go around 2 islands to catch some waves. Inbetween the the island I throw an air and yardsale. Somehow my line got wrappe daround my bar and pulled it to my chest fully powered. Kite is dragging me breaking my ribs I make it like a 100 yards say f*** it and pop my safety and on comes the deathloops. I held my boardshorts on my toe for mayve 2-3 loops after that it becamw survival.


I finally got to my safety and got rid of the kite my buddy watched this whole thing go down. Thank god he grabbed my board and kite and I floated to the Island. He gave me his rash guard and i put my legs through the sleeves and we rode back to the crowded beach. Must have been a funny sight seeing a kiteboarder come from no where dressed in a rash guard pair of shorts with his junk poking through looking like he just got back from battle

This was early in my kite career when I though unhooking was the scariest thing in the world. Lookin back I could have easily undone my leash and hooked it up the other way then unhhok and flip the chicked loop over.

[SupaEZ]

Year 2002
Stormy gusty wind 15-35++kn....NE / side -on ...near a jetty protecting us from huge waves
Should have asked or practice how to get out of wakeboard boots
Was my first time riding in bindings on a wakeboard
My buddy says take my Wipika 6.5m2 kite also

So i go out...wind backs down...i get hit by wave...kite falls into the surf

Both my legs are stuck like in cement and i feel like i am about to drown unable to get my feet out

Panicking i grab one of the steering line on the 2 line kite so i can get to the kite and float in

During that time i drift away from jetty and the waves are getting bigger @ 6-8ft

At last second i grab kite and by then i got suck out on the outside

I started a wild ride being rolled and tumbled for what seemed an eternity 3/4 mile downwind

When i got to the beach sand i was totally wrapped like a sausage by the kite lines

I could not move at all and had to be unwrapped by my buddy

Holding tight to the LE edge of the Wipika saved me from drowning

[TomW]

Back in 2005 i went out at spot on Öland here in Sweden. Lots of windsurfers so I was directed to rocky and remote beach 1 mile up wind of windsurfers. I was alone and self launched. This was back when I was dicking around building my own safety releases and chicken loops.
It was pretty nice but chilly. So im pretty far out about 500 m and i accidentially release chicken loop and leash fails. Kite flys down wind and starts to tumble and drift.
Now I start swimming to shore. Takes 30 min. Kite drifts thru like 50 windsurfers, all getting pissed.
Im most worried some one will get tangled in it and hurt.

Now I jog thec1 mile and ask windsurf club dude if he'll take his rescue boat out and help me fetch the kite. Wont do it, even if I offer to pay him.
So now I have to jog, walk along coast, out on a long land spit that is down wind. Takes about an hour to get there.
Kite bar and lines are now stuck 800 m out in waist deep water upwind of kand spit. Bottom is soft mud and I have no idea if I'll get stuck in the mud.

Now, there is no one around. Its the countryside. Windsurfers are 4 km upwind.
So I slowly walk out to the kite and manage to get it and get back without getting stuck in mud bottom.

3 hrs to get the kite back. It felt like I ran a half marathon in a wetsuit.

Went out and bought a proper bar..