One of the funniest things I've ever read on this forum.
" I have a way with words and sometimes in the past I have been a bully without being personal. I'm trying to stop that to. "
Why do you find this funny? 1. Bullying through words and a better ability
to debate an argument/point of view can be as damaging as being direct and personal.
That is what I am trying to stop. My years on debating teams comes out sometimes and 2. it just seems to make the person attacking me become even more personal and aggressive.
That is the bullying I am talking about. I am guilty as charged and it has been pointed out even by those getting personal...and they are correct on this one.
Westozzy, I'm not sure that I understand your point, especially your definition of "bullying". I do not think that using superior skills to promote an opinion is “bullying” UNLESS you use those skills to DELIBERATELY MISLEAD.
If superior skills are not used to mislead, in the cases where an argument is “lost” and the “loser” is as injured as if being directly and personally attacked,
this result is unfortunate but the problem lies with “loser’s” reaction and no “bullying” is involved any more than “losing” at any game where skill is an element.
Because most people do not put the time and effort into making each of their statements as bulletproof as possible, especially people who have limited debating and/or professional writing experience, it is frequently possible to misinterpret (sometimes deliberately) a statement in an attempt to use it to discredit an idea. This is obviously especially easy regarding statements from those posters who's primary language is not English.
Admittedly, this makes it much easier for skilful wordsmiths to twist facts, use innuendo, jargon and other techniques to create misleading conclusions (the very BEST write the UNPUBLISHED Appellate and Supreme court decisions). I would say that this qualifies as “bullying”.
However, on this forum, not only does the victim have the option of contradicting the misleading conclusions, but it is likely that many if not most of the other readers will see, or at least suspect, what is being done. In fact, some may even post their own comments attacking the deliberately misleading conclusions.
Therefore, I must take issue with your statement that “Bullying through words and a better ability to debate an argument/point of view can be as damaging as being direct and personal.
The cases where this is true are pretty rare in comparison to some of the personal attacks found on this and other forums.
I’ve had posters promise to, and attempt
to, destroy my livelihood with defamatory lies, threaten physical violence and vandalism, demean my professionalism, intellect, character, mental stability, writing style, kiting abilities and physical characteristics in response to some of my opinions. 2.
Frequently, posts express an opinion (poster #1). If someone has a different opinion (poster #2) and wishes to convince #1 (and other readers) that his (#2) opinion is correct, it seems to me that there are only 2 approaches: First approach:
#2 can explain supposed facts which support his position. Second approach:
#2 can explain supposed facts which show why #1's opinion is incorrect.
Because it is more difficult for someone to object to their OWN facts, suppositions, assumptions etc., it is often more effective to utilize as many elements of poster #1's opinion as possible in order for #2 to show that his opinion is more correct.
Generally, it seems that the Second approach (undermining the basis of #1's opinion), especially when using #1's own statements, tends to create more hostility than the First approach.
However, with both approaches, hostility increases in direct proportion to the poster’s perception that his ideas have been shown to be without merit.
On the plus side, this means that when someone receives a personal attack from someone foaming at the mouth and no on topic argument, they can be pretty sure that the foaming ranter knows he was wrong.
Malibu Kitesurfing - since 2002
(310) - 430 - KITE (5483)http://www.MalibuKitesurfing.NETkfRichard@MalibuKitesurfing.NET